I made groundhog cookies today with a sweet little cookie cutter that I couldn't wait to get my hands on. I frosted them with chocobrown icing and they looked nice enough. But then things got ugly. I decided to embellish them. "I'll just put some features on them" I thought. I studied the cookies and determined that it was sort of a side-view of the little whistlepig, ergo, there would only need to be one eye. Lord. That was when all hell broke loose. The eyes looked like cyclops' eyes if potatoes could be cyclopses. So I tried a mouth, which aggravated the condition. Finally, I said, "Screw it" and gave them all handlebar moustaches, which seemed to help a bit.
Moral of the story: Moustaches make everything better.
An Army of whistlepig mutants
No, he isn't pooping, simply oozing.
I call him Three-mile Island Thaddius.